If you used to have time to care how you looked, but now you have feral children and you haven't showered and the family wants dinner again, the ingrates,
and you wish you could find that One Simple Trick! (Beauty Industries Hate Her!) that would take no more than five seconds in the morning but keep you looking put-together all day,
it's this.
Matte lipstick.
It really does last all day! Once upon a time, when I was a young slip of a thing with no real responsibilities, I used to keep an extra lipstick in my purse to reapply after meals. HA! Those days are gone. But with this stuff you don't have to. Five seconds in the morning, just keep it by your toothbrush and do it right then, and you're literally good to go all day.
This is also the secret to salvaging dowdy days. I myself have a baffling number of children, each more feral than the last, so there are lots of days when I am walking around unshowered in public. So I know the temptation to dress down on those days, so no one looks at you, which actually just makes it worse because people will still turn their eyes in your direction when they address you. So annoying. But listen! Because of the miracle called "the halo effect," if you're wearing lipstick people just assume that you've also changed clothes and shaved your pits - because clearly, a woman who has time for lipstick is a woman who has her sh*t together, right?
Five seconds of lipstick will make your husband think you look especially nice today!
I've gone through and categorized Maybelline's matte collection, because they're cheap and widely available, but they lean heavily towards certain seasons and are sadly lacking in others so I'm happy to repeat with any other brand y'all are interested in.
Soft Autumn:
Mover - finally, something that isn't nude! Yes I have very strong feelings about this.
True Autumn:
Apparently Maybelline loves you guys! Good to know, right?
Poet,
Dark Autumn:
Dark Winter:
Thrill Seeker is straight black; directly on the face like this it's going to be most at home on the Dark Winter, but still excellent for any Winter who wants an alternative look,
True Winter:
Bright Winter:
Bright Spring:
True Spring:
Light Spring:
Light Summer:
True Summer:
Soft Summer:
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